December 17, 2014

How to survive being in a relationship with a blogging runner

So after sitting on the sidelines of the blogging world for the entirety of our relationship Christine asked me to do a guest post about dating a blogging runner.  Over the course of our relationship Ive accumulated the following advice for my fellow man who has chosen to be in relationship with the wonderful woman that is a blogging runner. 

1. You gotta love carbs. 
I dont like pasta, period.  Ive never been a fan and I probably never will be.  I find that personally pasta has no flavor.  However I can now report that I now know the difference between orecchiette and orzo (those are pasta types for the uninformed) and how to properly cook pasta al dente” (the proper Italian way to cook pasta).  Just learn how to do these things and you will be ok.

2. Get used to early bed times and early wake-ups.
She is going to want to go to bed at 9pm on Fridays when you're saying to yourself, Im just getting warmed up.”  Just suck it up and go to bed, trust me in about 8 hours the alarm will be going off and you will willingly or unwillingly be supporting her on a long run. Im telling you from personal experience it goes easier if you are well rested so just suck it up and go to bed at 9pm.   

3. Learn how to quickly locate the nearest coffee shop.
See #2,  you're going to be waking up early on weekends when you would rather be doing a close investigation of the inside of your eyes lids (Read: Sleeping).  Youre going to need coffee.

4. Learn the keys of race day wardrobe planning.
Shes going to plan her race day wardrobe.  You're not going to care.  Do yourself a favor while you have the chance to influence her thoughts on this all so important topic.  Suggest that she wear bright colors, it will make identifying her amongst the race day masses easier, and something low cut, trust me youll thank me later on this part. 

5. Your Saturday mornings are already planned.
You're supporting her on a long training Saturday morning, this is non-negotiable, this is a fact, this is what you will be doing, period.

6. The 0.0 joke is only funny to you.
She has a 13.1 or 26.2 sticker on her car.  Putting a 0.0 sticker on your car is only funny to you.  

7. You're going to get to do at least one holiday race.
Turkey Trot, Santa Shuffle, whatever the name, you're probably knowingly or unknowingly already signed up for one because it will be fun.”  Personally I find eating turkey like a fat kid or opening presents while wearing only a pair of boxers and a t-shirt to be fun but this is her idea of fun so just be thankful you get to be involved.  On a side note, based on personal experience this year, this will go much easier for this dose of fun” if you train for it, my body is still in recovery from my dose of fun” at Thanksgiving.

8. You get to learn about the latest and great in the world of fuel.
Im not talking about fuel for your car (Dream car is an Audi S4 2.0 with navigation, cold weather package and enhanced audio).  Im talking about talking about the glucose, jelly-like packets that she refers to as fuel.”  Shes going to crave them on long runs and during races so take note when she says she likes a certain flavor, youll get a lot of brownie points with her if you can pull them out when shes on mile 18 of a 20 mile training run.  On a side note, they all taste like nothing if you were wondering.

9. Youll know the latest and greatest gossip in the blogging world.
Ive never met them, nor have any idea what they look like but I can tell you the number of children, current race PRs (Personal Record, for you newbies), and what race they are currently training to run on half the running blogger community.  I dont say this to boast, this is just a fact. 

10. There usually is free beer at the finish line
Need I say more?  She just ran a race and is probably not going to want to drink it, this is where you come in.  It's probably not going to be the worlds greatest beer but hey, its free.

I have a bet going with Christine that I can get more likesor thumbs up things on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram than her articles so please do whatever you do on those things to approve of this article.  If I win I get to sleep in next Saturday, so if nothing else help out a tired guy. 


Finally, my weekly round up has been some 12 ounce lifts so if nothing in this post makes sense please blame it on that fact.
Adam

33 comments:

  1. Well done, Adam. Lots of likes and thumbs up for you! This had me rolling at 6:15am :-)

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  2. This is too funny, yet so true! I will have to show this one to my bf. I did get him a 0.0 sticker for his flight bag and he gets so many comments on it. -L

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  3. Too cute and too true! I will have to share this with my husband to see what he thinks :)
    Karen @karenlovestorun

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  4. I love this post! Great job Adam! Very good points and super funny.

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  5. very true! Great article Adam! sending this to my husband who barely makes it to races, let alone training runs!!

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  6. Lol! Love this Adam!!! Super points to you!

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  7. This is fabulous. Adam, you need to start reading Mark Remy's column in Runner's World. I think you'd get along.

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  8. Ha! This is awesome!!! My husband DOES have a 0.0 magnet on his car. But I bought it for him because yeah... that's exactly how it is. ;)

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  9. Oh, Adam, you are a gem!! Greatness and my sweet husband will love this!!

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  10. Consider this liked on whatever social media will help you sleep late next Saturday!

    ...oh, and sadly, my husband has learned that I ALWAYS want my post race beer, so you lucked out on that one! :)

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  11. I love this! Lots of high fives and likes for this! And Christine, he's a keeper. :)

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  12. Lol Priceless! Love this post. You go Adam. Preach!

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  13. This was so great! Awesome job!

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  14. I think I just found the perfect gift for the hubby. Thanks Adam! Now go get some sleep. You're going to need it for the next training cycle.

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  15. This is hilarious! My husband will definitely sympathize with this post.

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  16. love this post and am sending it to my husband! :)

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  17. I LOVE THIS! I just sent it to my boyfriend!

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  18. THIS IS AWESOME ADAM! I'm soooo totally posting this on my boyfriends facebook :) Thanks for sharing and making me laugh! Also know, that you are very much appreciated. Sometimes all a runner needs is support from her loved ones. I have learned that personally umpteen times as I live in a state far from mine.

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  19. Haha, I think my husband understands these, except he probably knows more about my friends' PRs rather than other bloggers (minus the blogger or two who I occasionally run with). I'm very fortunate that Clay is an introvert and likes to play video games on the nights when I run and is pretty cool with me waking up at dark-thirty to run or lift weights. And while he doesn't know a lot about Gu or gels because I don't use those, I keep him up with the latest and greatest protein powders that I drink post-workout.

    Another one to add is that Saturday lunch is always your biggest and best meal of the week because every Saturday is either a race or a long run so your wife needs food! That's why we have our weekly date on Saturday at lunch.

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  20. Hi Adam,

    Loved your post and am thinking that you are SO looking forward to some "training" runs over Christmas with Christine, Pam and I (Christine's aunt).

    Alison

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  21. This is too cute! Love the advice, Adam! I hope you win!

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  22. Love this!! You and my hubby would get along GREAT ;)

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  23. Oh my gosh. Christine he is hilarious!!!
    I Love it!

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  24. This doesn't sound like support at all. Not even sarcasm. "You're not going to care." Pretty much sounds like you don't care and are only going along with all of this because the relationship is new. Won't be long before you quit being so "supportive" and start to resent the commitment she has to running and how her schedule affects yours, etc., etc.

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  25. Funny and clever - a great read during my commute this morning.

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  26. Hahaha this is incredible! My husband would totally agree with the holiday race (he just did one last weekend with minimal training), hearing the blog gossip, and the free beers I won't eat! I do my long runs in the afternoons so he gets lucky with sleeping in. But this is so spot on! Great post!

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  27. Well done!! Loved reading, thumbs up indeed!!!

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  28. lol... both funny and true! My husband oh so helpfully figured out how to set the silent alarm on my fitbit for me so he can sleep in a little extra on my long run mornings :)

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  29. I'm reading between the lines here - but I think Adam not-so-secretly wants to join our little running cult. :) Beware, you might turn your couch potato cuddlebug into an ultra running monster like I did. ~DB

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